“January, is the Devil”

Happy New Year everybody! Hope everybody had a safe holiday! Since writing is my release, I figured I’d write about how I truly feel about seeing the new year come! The New Year is always bittersweet for my family and myself because the month of January has been rough since 1995! Since then, I often think, yea the year is new but it starts off with so much heartbreak! How is that possible? 

It was January 3, 1995, when my grandmother (my mothers mom) passed away suddenly. She was ill but to our knowledge, not deathly ill. Not only was it shocking and all of a sudden it was so heartbreaking to say the least! That was my mothers everything; her rock! I remember that day oh so clearly! My dad and my uncle picked me up from basketball practice which was unusual! Once I got in the car, my pops told me my granny died! I immediately wanted to get to my mama! My hurt came from knowing my mom was hurting!  On this day, her birthday, Mothers Day and many days in between I still think about her and it STILL hurts 22 whole years later! ๐Ÿ’” RIH Florine Smith we miss you dearly! What helps me cope is that my oldest son was born on her birthday March 8, 1996. 

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, on the dreadful day of January 4, 2008, my grandma my G baby Carrie May passed away! This truly broke my ๐Ÿ’” I remember getting that call that she was in the hospital a couple days before, but I wasn’t worried because she had been in and out of the hospital a couple times before that and came home! But this time was different; she never made it home. To be honest, that was a hurt I never felt in my life before! We buried her on January 12th and not even a week after that, I got the call that my favorite auntie Viola May her daughter passed away. This hit our family like a ton of bricks! So I can only imagine how the family of Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher felt just last week! We thought we had it bad experiencing death within 2 weeks, I can’t even imagine just 24 hours! My ๐Ÿ’œ goes out to them! I can honestly say, after my auntie passed I truly believed in, dying of a broken heart! RIH my G Baby, I think about you all the time, these 9 years sometimes seem like 9 days and you just left! Auntie Mae May, RIH I know you having a time up there! 

I know they say time heals all wounds but on days like I today! I can’t tell! I think about them all the time and shed tears often, but I do know that they are in a better place, are watching over me and God doesn’t make mistakes! Like the quote says” Goodbye is not forever, Goodbye is not the end, and I’ll miss you, until we meet again.”  Cherish and tell your loved ones you love them while they are here, you never know when God will call them home. Real talk


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