MY SOLDIERS

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Surviving an abusive relationship was a choice I made!! I choose to stay and I choose to leave. Over those 12 years, I would’ve done anything to keep my family together. I thought the key to my boys happiness was to have a complete family with a mother and father present. My parents has separated when I was 12 years old. I thought that was the worse thing that ever happen to me!! My foundation was cracked. But that was minor!! My Dad was always there for me. Look, it didn’t work out between them and that had nothing to do with ME!! This is why I’m so thankful to my daddy! With all that being said, I SURVIVED all that mess but I drug my boys through the hell with me! Trying to keep our family together!! Because I THOUGHT THAT WAS RIGHT!!!! I WAS DEAD WRONG!! I did more damage to my babies staying. I SURVIVED, BUT MY STRUGGLES BUILT SOLDIERS! I am so THANKFUL for every struggle but I must say sorry!  For every fight they witnessed!!! I say sorry to my SOLDIERS! For everytime they got woke up out their sleep from our arguing!! I’m SO sorry my SOLDIERS! For everytime I yelled at you because I was hurting from HIM! My SOLDIERS, momma sorry! FOR EVERY TIME YOU GOT A WHOOPIN YOU MAY NOT DESERVED BUT I TOOK MY OWN FRUSTRATION OUT ON YOU!!! My HANDSOME SOLDIERS I’m sorry!! For everytime you heard your momma being called a B****, H**, or anything other than Momma!!! My SOLDIERS, I’m sorry! For anytime you felt helpless, SOLDIERS of mine, I’m Sorry!! I had my 1st child at 17, and I didn’t know a damn thang about being a mother. I thought I knew it all!  I made plenty of mistakes and will make some more but My SOLDIERS,  I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL!  As long as I got breath in my body, I GOT YOU!!! With all the struggles we have been through MY SOLDIERS are growing into handsome young MEN! I love thier DRIVE and DETERMINATION!! I LOVE their SWAG!! I LOVE their  INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITIES!!! I LOVE MY SOLDIERS For loving they Ol’G despite my choices! Alot of times we want more for them than they want for themselves AND IT’s OK!! Our  SOLDIERS will make mistakes!! We just gotta keep pouring into them!!  They will get it one day! There was times where I wanted to GIVE UP AND RUN AWAY!!!!!! I have said it!! I wanna run away and never come back!  I’ve sat on the phone for hours like GURLLLLL these kids gone drive me crazy!  I used to be so ANGRY that I had to raise my SOLDIERS ALONE!  I was so MAD he was missing out on how DOPE my SOLDIERS were! When trouble came their way I’d be pissed that he was not there! Bottom line remains!! Momma’s babies Daddies Maybe!!!  We fight day after day to make sure our kids are straight! No matter how hard it gets we keep pushing!! Single mothers have the hardest job but there’s millions of us who do it!!  OUR SOLDIERS are watching and truth be told, If you stay with a man that aint treating you right,  YOUR SOLDIERS build up  anger and resentment against YOU FIRST!!! Hanging on is more harmful than letting GO!!!!  I was holding on to a relationship for the better and it was ruining ME AND MY SOLDIERS!! Today I’m glad to say I have a better relationship with all MY SOLDIERS because I choose to make better choices.  No matter right or wrong, I use every chance I get to pour life back into my SOLDIERS! Domestic abuse KILLS!! It destroys adults but it can make or break our kids!! Take it from me, it’s better to leave than to stay!

Hips N’ Lips

Dena

 

 

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