Betrayal or Naw?? Part 2

betrayal

For Real Doe! Betrayal or Naw?? At the end of a relationship I always ask myself, “how could he do this to me?” After all I’ve done!!!!! The problem was not what I did in the relationship, the issue was what I allowed him to do.  Real talk!  The first red flag was how he spoke to his kids mothers. I used to sit back and listen and I’d always say, ” HE WILL NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” Little did I know he would eventually talk to me the same way. I took A LOT!! I stayed faithful. I cared for his kids as my own. I did any and everything he asked of me. Anytime I told him no I was b****es! DUMMIES! Told I wasn’t shit! I wasn’t a real woman and so much more. He would always attack my character and I could never understand WHY! How can you disrespect someone who made her own CHOICE to raise your child! How can you disrespect a woman who has been by your side THROUGH IT ALL! How can you say you hate the woman that said, “I DO” and stayed faithful even when you did not. How can you hate someone that hung on and gave chance after chance after chance!  EASY! Because I ALLOWED IT! So is it betrayal when you know you deserve better?? Is it betrayal when you know he continues to hurt you? Is it betrayal when he chooses others over you?  I don’t call it betrayal at all. I have to hold myself responsible for what I ALLOWED! If I choose to walk away after that first red flag I wouldn’t be yelling betrayal because I didn’t stay long enough for the N***A to betray me.  So betrayal is not the right word for my situation and may not be for yours either! WHAT YOU THINK IS BETRAYAL WOULD BE YOUR LIFELINE! The more I felt betrayed the more God showed me that I was not just an innocent bystander getting SHOT! I was standing in my own way TAKING BULLET AFTER BULLET!!!!! God had told me no so many times and I did not want to listen. After every b**** and after ever bullet I stayed and let it happen again.  I felt betrayed when he said all those things about me BUT  WHEN YOU KNOW WHO  AND WHOSE YOU TRULY ARE Betrayal doesn’t become a reality! What I thought was BETRAYAL WAS ACTUALLY RELEASE!!! MY  RELEASE FROM A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP! FOR REAL DOE!!  I still love him, I may think about him a lot, I may worry about him , I may wish things were different, I just might wish it would’ve lasts longer, I may wonder how he’s doing. I may wonder if he’s well BUT  I  HAVE TO RELEASE THE TIE THAT BONDS US! I have to keep moving forward! I have to press on because what I thought was BETRAYAL showed me that my life was in RESET mode and A NEW LIFE WAS ON THE WAY!

 

Hips N’ LIPS DENA

 

 

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